


In your arms, don't let me go

by awgoddamnitnotagain (the_sad_potato)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 10:47:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30104769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sad_potato/pseuds/awgoddamnitnotagain
Summary: Levi and Erwin become stranded in a small village, with limited resources and rations. Will they cooperate to survive this challenge? Or will they fight and go on separate ways?
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	In your arms, don't let me go

It all happened too fast. Levi has been too reckless, too overconfident. His hooks shot through the air, grappling towards the titan's nape. Erwin has been grabbed, and he was so close to the titan's mouth, so close to having his head bitten off. The commander's blades were worn out, dulled to the point of not being able to cut a grape. The blond banged his fists desperately against the titan's closed palm, his body almost being crushed in the iron grasp. Sky blue eyes met stormy gray orbs as Levi shot through the air, readying his blades as he sliced the beast's nape. An angry shout left Levi's throat as he massacred the vital piece of flesh, but something went wrong. It was odd, one in a million chances of happening, but the raven-haired male's gear malfunctioned. 

The gas canisters stuttered and spewed little puffs of air, deeming his grapples useless. The titan fell heavily to the ground, taking down Humanity's Hope with him. Levi barely had time to register what happened before his back collided with the hardened earth, his head recoiling and hitting the ground a second time. It wasn't such a tall titan, but it was a significant height that could easily leave him disabled. His ears rang, his back and head ached, and he was pretty sure that he broke some ribs or other bones that he did not know the name of. He could hear the thuds of someone's footsteps running towards him, the sun above him blinding him with its bright rays. He squinted his eyes, but a familiar face blocked the brightness as Erwin stared down at him.   
  
The other man's voice slurred in his head as his vision blacked out at the edges of his eyes, but a demanding shout snapped him out of his trance. 

"Levi! Levi! Stay with me. Open your eyes, you're going into shock." Erwin spoke in an almost pleading tone as Levi's eyes closed gradually. The raven-haired male's eyelids felt heavy, and he felt tired. So, so exhausted, like he slew thirty titans, and he was now laying on a comfortable bed. 

"Open your eyes! Levi, stay awake." Erwin begged, trying to keep his composure. The two of them wandered away from the central clump of soldiers because Erwin wanted to map out a part of a plan that he never finished exploring. According to Mike's nose, there were supposed to be no titans today, but it seemed that he was wrong. Now they were alone, commander and captain, stranded on an open meadow with the increasing danger of titans swarming them with every second that passed. Erwin hastily pulled out his flare gun, shooting a purple flare for emergencies. The number of flare shells they had was limited, and the blond silently prayed that someone would see his message. The purple trail of color hissed through the air, getting scattered by the wind a couple of seconds later. Erwin cursed under his breath, the strong breeze made the usage of flares impracticable. 

Levi finally managed to wince softly, his voice strained from the pain. Strong hands shook him awake once more, making him open his eyes.   
"Motherfucker..." the raven-haired male cussed, trying to lift his hand to protect his abdomen. The blond's hand stopped the other's arm, slowly pushing it back on the ground. 

"Don't move. Stay awake. Where does it hurt?" Erwin asked, the slightest hint of panic in his voice. The commander had just achieved this position a few weeks ago, he was still new to everything that meant leadership. He appointed Levi as a captain only after a week since he became the leader of the Scouts, and the raven-haired male accepted the role humbly, even if on his tongue sat a million curses for the blond. 

"Everywhere..." Levi's voice trailed off, weak and vulnerable. He didn't recognize his own voice, and the thought of it made him panic and tense up. Erwin must've noticed because he hesitantly laid a warm hand on the captain's right shoulder, attempting to calm him down. 

"It's alright. I shot a flare, I don't know when...and if someone will come to help us. If nobody arrives before nightfall, it's most likely that they've made it back to the safety of the walls. If that is to happen, I will take you to a village nearby and we can use a house there to shelter ourselves." Erwin spoke as he started unbinding Levi's leather straps, taking his gear off, and setting it on the grass. The raven-haired male opened his mouth to protest, but the blond spoke before him.

"You won't need that anymore. I will take it with us, I won't leave it here, but you are in no condition to use it." Erwin spoke firmly as he gently pulled the leather straps off Levi. He bundled them up in a tight leather ball, tying the ends to the gear. Levi was now left in his uniform, but at least he could breathe better now that no straps were restricting his oxygen intake. 

"The only problem is that it's the cold season, and we might have to find a house with a fireplace. We don't have much water or any rations with us, so we'll have to use it only for emergencies. We might find a well on our way or in the village, so I don't think finding water should be that much of a problem." the blond kept talking, gently stroking the raven-haired male's clothed shoulder. Levi struggled to stay awake, but the initial shock slowly wore off as he started feeling more aware of his pain and surroundings. He could feel several injuries littering his back and arms, probably torn his clothes as well. He must've gotten them from the rocks scattered on the ground, or the sharp corners of his gear, or the hook wires that tangled around his leg. 

Levi groaned softly, watching as Erwin whistled for his horse to come back. Levi's horse was nowhere to be seen, probably ran off, scared of the titan. Erwin sighed, all of this was his fault. His fault for getting distracted by Levi falling off his horse, which resulted in him getting grabbed. Levi didn't have any responsibility in that situation, his horse just got scared and threw its rider off its back. Erwin got too distracted and turned his head to look at the other man back then, who was rolling on the ground. That moment gave the titan enough time to grab the commander, but Levi quickly acted and killed it. 

The blonde tried to think of possible reasons for faulty gear. Was it not being oiled properly? That couldn’t be the case, and the captain always made sure that his leather straps and equipment were in perfect condition. Could it have been just an accident, a loose screw, or something getting into the canisters, blocking the airflow? That was a possible explanation unless Levi’s gear got sabotaged by someone. Erwin shuddered at the mere thought, blood boiling in his veins. He had to keep calm for his sake and Levi’s sake because he was the commander. He was supposed to be the standing pillar in the collapsing building, the hope in humanity’s despair. With a soft sigh, he unfurrowed his brows and pursed his lips. 

Erwin's horse galloped towards the commander, his mane swaying in the wind as the majestic creature stopped in front of the two soldiers. The horse whinnied, snorting before leaning his head down and sniffing Erwin. The horse nudged the blond's head as a sign of greeting, and the commander couldn't hide his gentle smile.   
"Let us mount the horse, we are too exposed out here." Erwin said as he got up from his kneeling position. He didn't know how to carry Levi or how to lift him off the ground. 

"Just help me get up. I think I can stand on my own." Levi croaked out, his voice hoarse and weak. Erwin complied, going by the other man's side and offering him a hand. Levi gripped it harshly, his fingers dirtied with blood and mud. He groaned loudly as he used Erwin's firm hand to get up on his feet, his knees wobbling and giving out under him. Erwin was there to catch him, embracing the other's frail body and keeping him pressed flush against him. 

"Are you alright?" Erwin asked, worry crystal clear in his baritone voice. He held Levi close to him, supporting his weight. 

"Yes, it's fine. Let me go now." Levi said bitterly as he detached himself from the blond, taking a few steps towards the white stallion. He almost tripped over himself, but he quickly gripped the reins of the horse before he could hit the ground. He winced in pain, squeezing his eyes shut as his eyes stung. Those weren't emotional tears, and they were natural body reactions to pain.

"You're not fine. Let me help you get on the horse." Erwin offered Levi his help, stretching a hand for the other man to take.

"What do you mean? I said it's fine. I can do it myself." Levi declined the other man's help stubbornly, trying to hide the strain in his weak voice. 

"You said that it's fine, not 'I'm fine'. There's a great difference there, so stop being so stubborn and let me help you." Erwin said, starting to lose his patience. It was expected of him to lose his calmness, after all, they were supposed to flee to safety, but they argued in the open field instead.

"Alright. Help me, then." Levi eventually gave in, tears spilling on his cheeks. His lower lip wobbled as he bit back sobs, his back throbbed horribly like it never did before. It was a flaring pain, a throb that got worse as time passed. 

"Of course." Erwin said quickly as he approached the other man, helping him mount the horse. A cut-off sob and a hitched breath made the blond's head turn towards Levi, his blue eyes softening in compassion. Levi tried to conceal it when he cleared his throat quickly, and the blond wasn't sure whether to speak or to keep his mouth shut. He mounted the horse and kept Levi in front of him, back pressed flush against the commander's chest. The horse protested at the added weight, but it was a sturdy stallion that could certainly bear another person. 

Levi was grateful that the other man could not see his tear-streaked face, it was truly embarrassing. He brought his hand up to wipe his face, but he ended up smearing filth and blood instead.   
"Hold on, Levi." Erwin spoke softly before taking off his cape, draping it over Levi's chest to keep him warm. As the sun slowly sunk in the horizon, it was clear that no one was coming back for them. Perhaps they'd come tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, but for now, they had to survive. 

The commander reached inside his jacket and pulled out a section of unused cloth from his pocket that served as a napkin. He gently turned Levi's head around, despite the sound of protest that escaped the other's throat, then wiped the mud, dirt, and tears off his face. His skin was filled with tiny wounds, not enough to leave scars but enough to sting and hurt if not appropriately treated. Their eyes locked for some moments as the blond folded the dirty part of the piece of cloth, then wiped Levi's face again with a clean part. He folded the napkin and shoved it in his pocket after he was done, and Levi turned his head back, tensing up. 

"Relax, I don't bite. Your head and back are stiff, please lean back on me. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, it wasn't your fault. I noticed that your back hurts, so pressing yourself back against me might help to hold it in place as we ride the horse." Erwin instructed before speaking again. "Thank you for saving me back there, I would've become titan food if you didn't rescue me. I am sorry this happened, I promise I will be more careful next time." the blond spoke, realizing that Levi didn't throw back any sarcastic reply like he usually did so that probably meant that the other man was exasperated. 

Levi bit back his tears, letting his body slowly relax against Erwin's chest. Erwin gripped the reins of the horse, pulling them quickly for his horse to start galloping. The stallion whinnied and started galloping at full speed, led by the blond's firm commands. If it weren't for the bumps and jolts of pain as the horse stepped on pebbles and rocks, the raven-haired male would've fallen asleep. The ride towards the village was long, tiring for both the horse and the commander. Shortly after the sun has sunk in the horizon, they reached an abandoned village. There were no decaying bodies or bloodstains on the ground and walls, so the villagers most likely fled for the walls' safety. 

The horse slowly came to a stop in front of some stables, where there were traces of animals being there before. Half-filled trays of horse feed and empty buckets of water stood in each of the vacant horseboxes, and a little further away was a well, which seemed to be in poor condition, but still usable. Erwin dismounted from the saddle, stretching his arms and legs after staying in the same position for several hours. Levi grunted as Erwin gently helped him come down his horse, a pained hiss leaving his lips as a nasty jolt of pain flared up in his back. It wasn't broken, but he was sure that he had huge bruises on his skin. 

"Wait here. I will tie Percy to a stable box and fill the food tray and water bucket." Erwin told Levi, who just nodded as an answer and leaned against a stone wall. The moonlight was strong, no clouds littering the sky. Many constellations were visible in the sky, constellations of which the captain didn't know the name. He didn't know how much he waited, it felt like an eternity, but the commander finally returned, his golden hair gleaming under the moonlight.

"I explored the houses for a bit, and I found one with a fireplace and a fairly clean bed. We don't have much fuel, I will have to collect wood from other houses or sacrifice some bedsheets." Erwin explained as he snaked one arm around the other man's torso, helping him get back on his feet. 

"That is good to hear." Levi finally spoke, strolling alongside Erwin. The way to the selected house was short, but the ache in Levi's body was only increasing with every step he took. They entered the house, and the first thing they noticed was that it was way colder inside than outside. It was because of how it was built, with stone-reinforced walls that made the inside feel like a fridge. Levi shivered as Erwin led him through the hallway, stretching his arm in front of him so he could open the door to the bedroom. 

Erwin helped the raven-haired male lay down on the soft mattress, making sure to reassure him.   
"I changed the bedsheets and let some airflow inside because it smelled of dust and rotten wood." Erwin spoke as he threw some wood logs into the fireplace, lighting it up using a simple method that all of the soldiers were required to know. The flames danced around the fireplace, but it was going to be long before the room was warm enough for the two soldiers to stop shivering. 

"Good night, Levi. Try to get some sleep." Erwin said as he laid down next to Levi, and luckily the bed was wide enough for both of them to sleep without touching each other. An hour or so passed, and Levi couldn't fall asleep. He could feel the stickiness of his blood on his skin, it was too cold in the room, he was thirsty, hungry, everything was shit for him, and he couldn't even rest with his eyes closed. He envied Erwin, who was snoring peacefully next to him. The other man's snores didn't bother him at all, but all of the minor inconveniences gathered and troubled him. Levi kept shifting in the bed, switching positions when his back started aching. 

At one point during the night, Erwin was woken up from the constant shuffling of the sheets and random winces and hisses that escaped Levi's throat. The room was warm enough to create a comfortable atmosphere, and Levi felt guilty that he made the commander wake up from his much-needed rest.

"Is anything wrong?" Erwin asked as he turned to his side, facing Levi. 

"No, everything is fine." Levi lied, faking tiredness in his voice. He turned to his side, facing away from Erwin. 

"Levi, please tell me what's wrong. I need to make sure that you get some rest, tomorrow will be a tough day for surviving. We have limited rations and horse feed, as well as wood for the fireplace." Erwin pleaded, his left hand laying on Levi's shoulder. 

"I can't fall asleep." Levi answered shortly, partly because he felt bad for the blonde. The two of them had a strange relationship, something more than acquaintances but less than friends. They trusted each other, especially since Erwin was the only one that comforted the captain after Furlan's and Isabel's deaths. Since then, Levi admired the blond and trusted him, yet he was afraid of becoming too attached, afraid of losing him too.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Erwin asked, his thumb stroking Levi's clothed skin twice. 

"You can shut up and go back to sleep." Levi snapped at the blond. 

Erwin took back his hand and nodded, even if Levi couldn't see him. He sighed softly and laid on his back, looking at the ceiling that started to form mold at the corners of the room. 

After a while, neither of them was asleep. Levi struggled to stay still, feeling disgusted by how filthy he was. He surely smelled of sweat and copper, mixed with the horrible dirt smell.   
"Can I go outside to take a bath? I feel disgusting." Levi finally asked, his voice strained from the effort of speaking. 

Erwin was about to fall asleep, but the other man's voice chased away any traces of tiredness from his brain. 

"No, it's too dangerous. Your back is damaged, and so is your whole body. The water is cold outside, and I don't want you to freeze to death." Erwin denied Levi's request, his words slurred towards the end of the sentence. 

"But I can't sleep like this. I smell horrible and my skin is sticky with sweat and blood." Levi complained, moving his hand to scratch the side of his face. 

"Wait here. I have an idea." Erwin spoke as he got out of the bed, realizing that he didn't even take off his boots before he went to sleep. 

Levi's eyes followed Erwin as the blond exited the room, shifting his gaze on the fireplace as he waited for his commander to come back. He dozed off while he was waiting for the other man, closing his eyes, only to be woken up after what felt like a second later by Erwin. 

"Hey. You fell asleep while I was gone. I heated some buckets of water and brought some clean rags that I found." Erwin informed Levi, and as he said, some buckets of water were by the door, steam rising from the warm liquid. 

"How did you manage to heat the buckets with water without setting this house on fire?" Levi asked, sleepiness heavy in his voice.

"I used the fireplace. I burnt my fingers, but it doesn't hurt anymore." the blond explained. "Take off your clothes." he added as he headed towards the buckets. 

"Excuse me?" Levi asked, hoping that he heard the words wrong. 

"I said, take off your clothes. I will clean you using warm water and some rags, and I hope that it will make your sleep more comfortable." Erwin said again as Levi looked at him like he was insane. 

"No way. I am not getting naked in front of you." Levi replied, bringing his hands closer to his body and wincing when he caused a quick jolt of pain to travel down his spine. 

"Then, take off your clothes without taking off your underwear." Erwin tried to convince Levi. "After all, we are both men, whatever you have between your legs, I have it as well. You have no reason to be shy, what are you going to do at the physical exam that's coming up in a few weeks? All of the soldiers are required to take part in it, and we will be bundled up three people in the same room. Four, if you include the physician. He will check your body, everywhere. It's standard protocol to ensure that our soldiers are healthy." Erwin spoke as he eyed Levi, his voice firm. 

Levi gulped. He had to get naked, in front of three other people? He felt sick to the stomach. However, a pang of guilt made its way into Levi's conscience. Erwin took a lot of time from the time when he was supposed to sleep just so he could heat some buckets of water for Levi. The raven-haired male sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, facing Erwin. He started undressing, taking off his shirt and folding it neatly on the edge of the bed. He took off his boots as well, then slid off his pants from his legs. He was left only in his underwear, but he still felt exposed, vulnerable in front of Erwin. 

"How's your back?" Erwin asked, deciding that it would be better to change the subject before Levi became too uncomfortable. 

"A little bit better. It still hurts like a bitch when I try to move, every little move makes my back burn." Levi answered sheepishly. 

"What do you mean by 'burn'?" Erwin asked again, unsure of what Levi was feeling. 

"My muscles hurt, and my spine. I don't think it's broken, or else I would've been paralyzed, but I am sure that I bruised my skin." Levi replied, laying down on the bed. 

Erwin hummed in agreement as he soaked a rag in the warm bucket, then hung it on the edge of the metal object. He carried two buckets to the edge of the bed, one filled with warm water and an empty one. 

"I will clean your body with this piece of cloth. We have no other choice than to wet these sheets, I will change them once we are done. I am afraid that I will have to wash our clothes too and leave them to dry overnight above the fireplace." Erwin spoke nonchalantly, yet confidently, awaiting Levi's reaction. 

"Even the underwear?" Levi asked quietly, looking away from Erwin.

"Excuse me?" Erwin asked as he didn't quite understand that. 

"You will wash the underwear too?" Levi clarified, feeling a lump form in his throat. Was Erwin insane? How could they sleep naked in the same bed? 

"Yes, I will. We will have dry, clean, and warm clothes to put on in the morning. About the coldness, don't worry about that. I made sure to pile some wood that I found while scavenging the nearby houses. We also have a thick, high-quality blanket I found in another room." Erwin said as he held the wet rag, which was dripping water on the sheets. 

"I understand." Levi spoke softly. It was no use being stubborn, it wasn't like Erwin was going to peek under the sheets throughout the entire night. 

"Can you please take off the underwear too? I want to wash it as well, and you have grime and sweat in that area." Erwin asked nicely.

Levi didn't answer right away, but the blond waited patiently until the other man made up his mind. "Fine." Levi finally answered, because after all, if he was going to get clean, at least do it properly, right?

Erwin nodded in approval and took a few steps back, allowing Levi the time and space to take off the last piece of clothing. Levi discarded the underwear on top of his uniform, laying back down, facing up. The commander approached the captain again, smiling gently before dipping down the cloth in the water, squeezing the excess liquid from it afterward. He ran it along Levi's body, starting from his face down his arms, then his chest and armpits, then his torso. He made sure to frequently clean the rag and squeeze the dirty water in the empty bucket, then continued down his waist, pelvic area, while avoiding Levi's manhood, down his legs and feet. It took him quite a while just to wash Levi's front, but now he had to wash his back too. He prepared for the worst as the younger man turned around, laying on his belly, ass up. 

Just as he expected, on Levi's back were scattered dozens of small bruises of different colors, along with scratches and cuts. They didn't look infected yet, which was a good sign, but they had dirt and blood crusted on them. Erwin didn't talk the whole time that he cleaned Levi's body, gently brushing his back with the rag. 

After one long hour, he was finally done, leaving the captain to feel much cleaner than before. Only one bucket of clean water was used, the empty one being filled with disgustingly brown and pinkish water. "The other bucket of water must've cooled off in the meantime, so we can use it to drink and hydrate ourselves." Erwin suggested as he carried the two buckets in one corner of the room.

"What about you, you won't wash?" Levi asked, a little conflicted by the idea. 

"Oh, I already did while you dozed off. I put on the clothes back because they aren't so dirty, but I will still go and wash them before coming back here and hanging them above the fireplace." Erwin replied, talking as if he talked about the weather. 

Just how comfortable was this man around other people? Was Erwin not afraid of Levi killing him in his sleep? Levi shook his head gently, chasing away the intrusive thoughts as he laid his head comfortably on a pillow. 

"Get off the bed, we need to change the sheets." Erwin told the other man before helping him get off the bed. Levi was naked, shivering as the blond led him towards a wall, pushing him back gently so he could lean against the stone surface. The raven-haired male hissed at the coldness of the wall but held back a curse as he pursed his lips. The commander changed the sheets quickly, wasting no time. After he was done, he led the captain back to the bed, helping him lay down as well. 

"I will go wash our clothes, and I will be back as fast as possible." Erwin informed Levi before picking up his discarded uniform and underwear. He then exited the room, leaving the other man more confused than ever.

While the blond was gone, Levi had a lot of time on his hands for reflecting upon the day's events. His back ached less now that all of the dirt was out of his wounds, but the pain was still there, making Levi frequently switch positions in the bed to make himself more comfortable. Why did Erwin do all of those things, when all that Levi did was swear at him and treat him like an asshole ever since they met? The captain wasn't used to being shown any form of kindness, aside from his life in the Underground where he still had Furlan and Isabel. Perhaps the blond was just a kind soul, a careful commander that valued every soldier's life. Levi sighed softly, the moon was high in the sky, visible on the wide window a little further away from the bed. He didn't know how much time passed until the blond returned, but he was already half-asleep when he felt the weight of another person create a dip in the mattress. A thick blanket was thrown over Levi, who slowly opened his eyes, only to open them even wider when he was face to face with a naked Erwin. He was grateful for the darkness in the room, else it would've been hard to explain the blush that dusted his cheeks. 

"I'm back, with the promised blanket. It was a pain in the ass to walk naked outside after I washed the clothes next to the well, but now that I will go under the blanket, I shouldn't freeze to death." the blond spoke slowly as he laid down in the bed, pulling the blanket up to his chest. Levi did the same, mimicking Erwin's movements. They were both exhausted, and they understood that they had to cooperate to survive.

"You know, to create more heat, we can stay closer to each other." Erwin suggested, his voice serious. 

"No thanks, I think I'm good." Levi rejected the blond's offer, too embarrassed to say yes anyway. He was shivering under the blanket, even if it was warm, the last fuel that they had burning in the fireplace was running out, the room slowly becoming colder. 

"Don't be stubborn, I can feel the blanket shaking. You're shivering from the cold, trust me. I will just embrace you, or we can sit with our backs pressed together." Erwin attempted to convince the raven-haired male again, turning his head so he could look into the other man's gray eyes. 

"But..." Levi heard himself speak, and he didn't know what he was going to say. But what? They were both men? Homosexuality was illegal inside the walls? Was he going to be reported to the Military Police for being homosexual? Erwin wouldn't do that, would he? It's not like he knew about Levi's sexual orientation, even if it wasn't that hard to see.

"But what? You're shy?" the blond tried to fill in the blank in the captain's sentence, lifting a brow as he spoke. 

"Something like that...I am not comfortable." Levi excused himself and turned around, facing away from Erwin. 

Erwin sighed softly before moving his hand towards Levi, lifting the blanket to cover his shoulders as well. He made sure to tuck the thick, warm blanket under Levi too, to ensure that the warmth remained there. After a while, Levi started to fall asleep, being somewhere between awake and asleep. He felt Erwin scoot closer to him until his front was pressed flush against Levi's back, and for what seemed like the first time, Levi regretted not agreeing to Erwin's words. The commander's skin was warm compared to Levi's icy one, and it felt like a blessing. He could feel a relieved sigh escape his throat as he unconsciously pressed even more into Erwin's body, seeking the much-needed warmth. 

It felt so intimate, yet safe at the same time. Erwin's hand moved so he could card his fingers through the jet-black hair, massaging his scalp. Levi fell asleep, joined by the blond not much later.


End file.
